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Apathy is the Epitome of Misery (The Emo Diatribe Revealed)

September 6, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

I love to attend live music events. After being in a touring rock band for nearly a decade, before finally parting ways with the music industry and calling it a day, I have found that I still love to go out and catch live shows. But there is one thing that I have been noticing at a lot of live shows as of late: Emo kids. They are everywhere I go: Emo this and emo that, emo clothing that makes you not look fat and skinny jeans for bones and beans. The emo mantra is so silly, when you really take a good gander at it. And if you really want to chuckle, look up “Emo Kid” on Youtube.com and watch that hilarious, viral music video; you will laugh so hard that milk comes out your nostrils. After being bombarded with everything emo, and very recently, I have to dish out my two cents on this subculture that is a bad carbon copy of gothic-kids, gone terribly awry.

Top Five Reasons Emo is Uber Lame (And Then Some)!

  1. Apathetic kids that come from privileged households. I am willing to bet that most emo kids are actually from middle or upper class families. How do you think that they can afford all that makeup and glamour?
  2. Hot topic is in business because of emo kids. Hot topic, more like boring subject. The real name of this emo store should be, “I Feel So Dead Inside.”
  3. Black lipstick equals oil dipstick. Who the hell said that black lipstick looked good on emo kids? It’s terrible. You look like you kissed an octopus and it sprayed ink on your face. Just stop wearing it, please?
  4. Emo music is not really ‘emo’ at all! Emo is the shortening of the word emotional. The music, however, is nothing new. It’s called a sad ballad people, and it has been around ever since the Beatles!
  5. I can’t tell emo kids apart. If you were to line up ten emo kids in a row, you would be staring at the same kid, times ten. I, for the life of me, can’t see how they all want to look like identical twins.

But then again, that’s why I am not emo!

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: emo, emo kids, emo music

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