There is a lot of controversy as to whether a person should date his or her best friend. After all, there is always the possibility that the relationship could end poorly and decimate that friendship. Then there are the concerns about the people who are mutual friends of the couple and how they might handle the relationship if it should fail. However, there is also the possibility of missing what would otherwise be a great relationship and potentially finding one’s soul mate.
There are some benefits to dating someone that you have been friends with for a period of time. The primary benefit is that you already know the person and you know that you have things in common. The discomfort of being around someone that you do not know as well is gone because you know this person well. The challenge of finding something to talk about is not there since you know what to talk about and you have a history together. This can make the first date go smooth and it can help to strengthen your relationship as friends and eventually as lovers.
The down side to dating your best friend is that if it does not end well, you could lose your friend. This is the number one reason that people do not date their best friends. The next big problem is that there may be mutual friends who oppose the relationship for one reason or the other and will do what they can to ruin relationship. They may do this out of jealousy or out of concern that you two might spend more time with each other and exclude the friends from your life. Following some simple rules can help to prevent this from occurring.
- Always practice honesty. This honesty is not only with the friend you are dating, but also with your other friends. Though it may be tempted to tell your friends that you are not doing anything with that special friend, this can hurt them when they do finally find out. As for that special friend you are hoping to date and build a life with, be completely honest with him or her about how you are feeling and how your friends are taking to the relationship. Nothing ruins relationships of all levels than a lie.
- Remember that a romantic relationship is only a step up from friendship. Though you may want to impress your friend and show them your more romantic side, they have more than likely seen your unromantic side as well. Do not stress about dating your friend and instead relax with it. Remember, your potential soul mate will be your romantic partner, as well as your best friend. It is perfectly okay to be yourself around your best friend and potentially romantic partner.
- Do not ignore your other friends as you work to build a romantic relationship with your friend. Remember, these friends are also important and you should include them in your plans when possible and they should be kept up to date on what is happening in your life. This is especially true for mutual friends since they may feel jealous or concerned if they are not kept up to date about your life. While your friends may not expect you to call them all the time, an occasional call is important to them too.
- You do not have to spend all of your time with your best friend and potential romantic partner. It is always a good idea to continue building your friendship with your other friends. Plan on having a girls’ or boys’ night out without your partner. This will give you things to talk about and it will help to keep things fresh and interesting. This will also give you time to keep up with your other friends.
- Remember always that you are friends with the person and that you should remain friends no matter what happens between you two. If things do not work out between you two, do not ignore or intentionally hurt the person that you were involved with. Instead, take the break up as adults and remain friends. This does not mean that you two have to be as close as you were, but you should still be able to communicate and you should still be nice to each other when mutual friends ask you out with them.
Picture provided by Free Digital Photos: Graur Razvan Ionut
