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Going With the Short Hair Style (Finally!)

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I did it! I finally parted ways with my old hair style (all puns fully intended). I used to, forever and day, have very long hair, most often to my shoulders. However, after getting sick and tired of all of the maintenance—and I am sure that most girls out there can agree with me here, or men who have longer hair—I was burned out on always having to manage my thick locks. There are just so many different things that you have to do in order to really take care of long hair.

Now mind you, I did take excellent care of my hair. And having four brothers with male pattern baldness in the family, one could easily deduce that I did indeed dodge the hereditary genetics bullet. But, once you get tired of always having hair in your face, sweating profusely on hot summer days (especially in Arizona where I live, where it easily tops triple digits several months out of the year), and then spending hundreds of smackers at salons to get it cut, styled and colored—well, sufficed to say that short hair has welcomed me back into its loving arms.

In case you are wondering, I used to have hair that went past my shoulders. The climb up the ladder to the short hair that I sport now was a lengthy process that spanned several years. Over the past five years, or so, I have been going a little bit shorter each year. The other day, however, I decided that I had enough, and it was time to take the sheers to my head and get to cutting. From the very moment I left that hair salon, sexy women were looking my way; a lot more so than usual.

Could it be the new hair style I am sporting? I think so, my friends. Then, to confirm my suspicions, my sister and mother met up with me for lunch, and they would not stop yapping about how handsome I look. Now, I have updated my online dating profile with my new, shorter hair style look, and voila: I am getting bombarded with emails from very attractive women looking to go on dates with me. (That simply put: Rocks!)

I wish I had known that dating tip a while back. But knowing is half the battle (I know: GI JOE!). However, the lesson has been learned for me. Shorter hair is the best look for my melon, and I intend to keep it that way. Now if I could only get free premium cable channels, I think I would be on to something truly grand!

Funky Hair Colors Can Rock—But They Can Be Messy, Too!

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Once upon a time, I had hair that was a bit longer than my hair is currently. I was always playing out in a band, and I was constantly changing up my hair dew, nearly to the point of that of which a young girl in high school who has a cosmetologist for a mother would do. (No really, I knew some girls like that in high school, and they always were changing up their hair styles and colors; nearly on a weekly basis.) Today, however, I would like to dip into the remuneration that you can experience if you decide to go with a crazy color for your hair style – like this girl in the drawing to the upper left has – and just what you can expect if you do opt to dye your hair using one of those funky-colored hair dyes.

For me, I decided that I wanted black hair with blue streaks in it, and all over the place, for a really big show my band was playing. So I phoned my stylist, who is still on my cell phone’s speed dial, by the way, and made an appointment. About four hours later, I left the hair salon with smoking hair that was blue and black, streaked and chic, and ready to rock out at that show like a real star. That was the fun part, then I was made aware of why most people do not use fancy colors, like blue—and in my case this really deep midnight blue hair dye—to upgrade their hair styles with. You want to know why? Because they get all over the freaking place, that is why!

I recall being at that show and watching blue beads of sweat drip everywhere. By the time the show was over, I was covered in blue on my neck and face. Everywhere I went to for a few months following, the same thing: Blue, blue and more blue! I am unable to recant how many towels, bed sheets and shirts I destroyed during my stint with a blue hair style. But sufficed to say, it turned out to be quite a costly endeavor for me in the end. I suppose that the moral of this story is rather simple at heart: Make sure you know what you are getting into before you go for an outlandish blue hair style like I did. And yes, I was quite frequently called a smurf when I was sporting those dark blue locks!

More on the Mullet (Part 2): Eight More Reasons To Laugh Your Socks Off!

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Okay, I already touched base upon the Mullet and why this horrendous-looking hairstyle is somehow still widely in use, and for a plethora of reasons that are unbeknownst to me, and that for the life of me I will never truly understand. But, it does make for some great hair style fashion blogger fodder; for certain it does! The reality is that if—and whenever I do—see a person sport a mullet, I have to try and not laugh. (They remind me of this monkey picture I have added to the upper left that has a primate mullet.) Generally when this occurs, I do end up laughing. I am coy enough not to point and jeer. But seriously: I think of seeing a person sporting a mullet like I would the worst NCAA mascot hopping around the field (a few choice teams come to mind here that just have ghastly-looking mascots, like a pickle, for example, but I will refrain from mentioning such collegiate teams for the sake of no legal liabilities—and also because I love NCAA football).

Back on track here: Mullets. If you did not have time to catch Part One, which should stir up a giggle or two in your gut, allow for me to apprise you. It was entitled, “Why Does the Mullet Still Exist?” You can also find it by Clicking Here. In that article I talked about the top eight reasons why there are still mullets, and why people think this hair style makes them look ‘cool.’ Citing from that article ever so briefly so we can get on to business here, the top eight reasons stated were as follows.

  1. NASCAR: This one REALLY is self explanatory!
  2. Backwoods, Bible-Belt states, where they think this hair style is commendable.
  3. Hicks, rednecks and those who just don’t know any better; fashion ignorance is bliss, somehow.
  4. 80s metal rock has-beens. You know those guys who still think that wearing white-washed jeans is ‘cool.’ Yeah, those people.
  5. ‘Hair Bands’ and those who still think that the styles are really awesome. Need I say more here?
  6. Townships with bad barbers. Believe it or not, there are some places where you may actually be told to sport a mullet. Alabama comes to mind here.
  7. ‘Joe Dirt’ the movie, which really made fun of mullets, but that somehow also made other people aid in supporting the fact that ‘their’ mullet was cool. Wakeup call: The name of the movie is ‘Joe Dirt.’ As in dirty!
  8. ‘The Dukes of Hazard.’ This is as self explanatory as the first reason is.

But, I was watching a TV commercial for Keystone Amber Light – the white trash equivalent to Pabst Blue Ribbon if you ask me – and their spokesperson is this mullet-flaunting fellow named Keith. How appropriate, right? So that made me ever so desire to write a follow-up to this original article. As it seems that even mainstream marketing media is now adapting their demographics to mullet-lovers with a shoddy lager that leaves a resounding taste of stinky foulness in your mouth. (Hint-hint!)

But I digest: Eight more reasons why the Mullet is still around!

  1. Beer commercials—like the aforementioned—that embellish this look and make it seem acceptable to have a mullet. It’s not. You look terrible. Cut your freaking hair!
  2. Monster truck rallies. I think that at these events you may even find more people wearing mullets than you would at a NASCAR event. No really, I do!
  3. Country music festivals. There is this old joke that goes like this: “What has ten teeth and ten thousand legs? The front row at a Garth Brooks concert.” Yeah, that and mullets, too.
  4. Ku Klux Klan memberships. It is just me, or do all racists KKK members enjoy belittling themselves with a mullet? Ignorance is indeed bliss. NOT!
  5. Truck stop, hit-on-the-haggard-waitresses, in-the-middle-of-BFE-places. If you have ever been on really long road trip and had to stop at a place like this, chances are there is a guy from the movie ‘Dumb & Dumber’ with a mullet named ‘Seabass’ that loves to drink boilermakers who will: “Kick your ass!”
  6. Militia groups. First off, these are already people who are mentally on the fritz and think the world will end soon. Does it come as any surprise that mullets are their favored hair style?
  7. Walmart. Need I say anything more here?
  8. And the cake topper: TV championship bass fishing shows. I don’t think I have ever seen so many darned mullets in my life! These good folks really should be fishing for a new hair style!

Goatees Are Still Very Sexy (Yes Indeed)!

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Do you think that goatees are hot? Well many women do, as do the countless men who sport them. Even on the popular fashion blog and website, StyleList, they tagged a recent Getty photo of superstar A-lister, Brad Pitt, sporting his own brand of a goatee. But they were not so nice about what they had to say. And I quote, “While Brad’s skin still looks youthful and supple (and kissable, of course), the gray in his goatee ages his considerably. No skincare product is going to fix that.” (Here’s a link to this tidbit so you can see for yourself.)

Now on to my two cents here!

Okay first off, you don’t use skin care products to get rid of grey in a beard! How moronic is that notion? In fact, the last time I checked, hair dyes were classified as ‘hair care products.’ Also, have you considered that perhaps he does not mind the grey in his goatee? I think he looks refined, aged and sexy, and there is, I can guarantee you with all my pennies, no girl (just about) in the entire world that would ever disagree with me here! So my two cents for you Style List is twofold. One: don’t talk trash about Brad Pitt – he rocks! Two: get your facts straight, don’t mix up hair care and skin care and then expect fashion protagonists such as myself not to call you out and lambast you for it!

If he (Brad Pitt) wanted a dark goatee, he could easily call up one of his plethora of superstar stylists and have it dyed USING HAIR CARE PRODUCTS; NOT SKIN CARE PRODUCTS; as you so coyly suggest. This bantering—which I felt to be absolutely necessary here on so MANY levels—leads me to the point at hand: Goatees are sexy on most men, no matter their age, or if they have some grey in them (HINT-HINT!), and they can really augment and outline your facial features.

I have been rocking a goatee for more than a decade now, and I have always gotten compliments on it! So if you think that goatees are out, think again! Not only that, there is another added perk to these scruffy chin adages: You really cut down on shaving time. For me, I loathe the shaving process, so it’s already win-win over here!

For legal purposes, the photo above was provided courtesy of Getty.

Why Does the Mullet Still Exist?

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Living in the great ‘Wild West’ state of Arizona, there are so many fashion faux paws that I see on a regular and daily basis that bewildered is a vast understatement of my perception of this hair style dilemma that most people here face. What I am talking about is the existence of the most trashiest of all hair styles ever to be fathomed, one that had to be brewed in the vats of a moonshine, rusted-out bathtub somewhere far out in the desert—in a trailer park nonetheless—where some dude, somewhere, on some sunny day decided that a mullet was the way to go.

Boy I bet those swanky trailer ladies were all over him! (NOT!) And still, I see a rather startling and alarming abundance of this hideous hair style on many men that inhabit this western state. If you are a guy that is currently sporting a mullet, I am talking about you.

That’s right! Feel free to leave your comments, because in my opinion a mullet is the scalp equivalent to having a rat infestation in your house. It’s just plain awful-looking, and if you think that mullets are super-cool, you are on the wrong website my friends; the site you are looking for is Walmart’s website, where you can happily browse online with fellow mullet enthusiasts.

All that being said, I think here are some top reasons as to why this abomination of a hair style (which really is not a hair style if you ask me) is somehow still around today. Keep in mind this is mostly just for the sake of humor. So if you are unable to handle a good laugh, then you may as well move to France.

Top Eight Reasons Why I Can Derive That the Mullet is Still Around

  1. NASCAR: This one REALLY is self explanatory!
  2. Backwoods, Bible-Belt states, where they think this hair style is commendable.
  3. Hicks, rednecks and those who just don’t know any better; fashion ignorance is bliss, somehow.
  4. 80s metal rock has-beens. You know those guys who still think that wearing white-washed jeans is ‘cool.’ Yeah, those people.
  5. ‘Hair Bands’ and those who still think that the styles are really awesome. Need I say more here?
  6. Townships with bad barbers. Believe it or not, there are some places where you may actually be told to sport a mullet. Alabama comes to mind here.
  7. ‘Joe Dirt’ the movie, which really made fun of mullets, but that somehow also made other people aid in supporting the fact that ‘their’ mullet was cool. Wakeup call: The name of the movie is ‘Joe Dirt.’ As in dirty!
  8. ‘The Dukes of Hazard.’ This is as self explanatory as the first reason is.

Adding Flare with ‘Bed Hair’

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I aim to keep this article short and sweet, because I don’t wish to bore you to tears with my fomenting and bantering on about hair styles 101. However, there are some interesting things that I have been learning lately, with regards to my hair and the nifty hair style I am always shooting for on a daily basis that has really made me wonder. I also have deemed one of these things as a really cool tip that should work for most hair types and hairs styles, or for that matter, most people.

I am not sure about any of you other people out there, but I swear by my flatiron – it is my must-have for getting ready to go out. But one thing that has always been of a real nuisance is trying to get rid of the frizz and the frazzle after taking a shower and blow drying my hair, applying thermal protector and anti-frizz to it, and then embarking upon the arduous task of straightening my wavy hair using my flatiron. (Whew that was a mouthful!) But I devised one trick over the past few months of this back and forth struggle between my hair I, and I think it is the fashion hairstyle battle plan for me.

I started showering at night instead of in the mornings. I have ditched my hair dryer and started towel drying my hair and letting the rest dry naturally. Later on, when my hair is entirely dry, I run some thermal protector through it and then add a dash of anti-frizz. Finally, I flatiron that hair exactly as I want it to look. Then I hit the hay. Upon waking up—and keep in mind that I have been conducting this experiment for over two months now, and much to my satisfaction mind you—my hair is naturally styled in ways that I could never get it to look or shape, or form on my own.

Case and point: sometimes ‘bed hair’ really does add that extra touch of flare. At least for me it does. You should try it out for yourself. It may just make all of the difference for your hair style too!