Okay, I already touched base upon the Mullet and why this horrendous-looking hairstyle is somehow still widely in use, and for a plethora of reasons that are unbeknownst to me, and that for the life of me I will never truly understand. But, it does make for some great hair style fashion blogger fodder; for certain it does! The reality is that if—and whenever I do—see a person sport a mullet, I have to try and not laugh. (They remind me of this monkey picture I have added to the upper left that has a primate mullet.) Generally when this occurs, I do end up laughing. I am coy enough not to point and jeer. But seriously: I think of seeing a person sporting a mullet like I would the worst NCAA mascot hopping around the field (a few choice teams come to mind here that just have ghastly-looking mascots, like a pickle, for example, but I will refrain from mentioning such collegiate teams for the sake of no legal liabilities—and also because I love NCAA football).
Back on track here: Mullets. If you did not have time to catch Part One, which should stir up a giggle or two in your gut, allow for me to apprise you. It was entitled, “Why Does the Mullet Still Exist?” You can also find it by Clicking Here. In that article I talked about the top eight reasons why there are still mullets, and why people think this hair style makes them look ‘cool.’ Citing from that article ever so briefly so we can get on to business here, the top eight reasons stated were as follows.
- NASCAR: This one REALLY is self explanatory!
- Backwoods, Bible-Belt states, where they think this hair style is commendable.
- Hicks, rednecks and those who just don’t know any better; fashion ignorance is bliss, somehow.
- 80s metal rock has-beens. You know those guys who still think that wearing white-washed jeans is ‘cool.’ Yeah, those people.
- ‘Hair Bands’ and those who still think that the styles are really awesome. Need I say more here?
- Townships with bad barbers. Believe it or not, there are some places where you may actually be told to sport a mullet. Alabama comes to mind here.
- ‘Joe Dirt’ the movie, which really made fun of mullets, but that somehow also made other people aid in supporting the fact that ‘their’ mullet was cool. Wakeup call: The name of the movie is ‘Joe Dirt.’ As in dirty!
- ‘The Dukes of Hazard.’ This is as self explanatory as the first reason is.
But, I was watching a TV commercial for Keystone Amber Light – the white trash equivalent to Pabst Blue Ribbon if you ask me – and their spokesperson is this mullet-flaunting fellow named Keith. How appropriate, right? So that made me ever so desire to write a follow-up to this original article. As it seems that even mainstream marketing media is now adapting their demographics to mullet-lovers with a shoddy lager that leaves a resounding taste of stinky foulness in your mouth. (Hint-hint!)
But I digest: Eight more reasons why the Mullet is still around!
- Beer commercials—like the aforementioned—that embellish this look and make it seem acceptable to have a mullet. It’s not. You look terrible. Cut your freaking hair!
- Monster truck rallies. I think that at these events you may even find more people wearing mullets than you would at a NASCAR event. No really, I do!
- Country music festivals. There is this old joke that goes like this: “What has ten teeth and ten thousand legs? The front row at a Garth Brooks concert.” Yeah, that and mullets, too.
- Ku Klux Klan memberships. It is just me, or do all racists KKK members enjoy belittling themselves with a mullet? Ignorance is indeed bliss. NOT!
- Truck stop, hit-on-the-haggard-waitresses, in-the-middle-of-BFE-places. If you have ever been on really long road trip and had to stop at a place like this, chances are there is a guy from the movie ‘Dumb & Dumber’ with a mullet named ‘Seabass’ that loves to drink boilermakers who will: “Kick your ass!”
- Militia groups. First off, these are already people who are mentally on the fritz and think the world will end soon. Does it come as any surprise that mullets are their favored hair style?
- Walmart. Need I say anything more here?
- And the cake topper: TV championship bass fishing shows. I don’t think I have ever seen so many darned mullets in my life! These good folks really should be fishing for a new hair style!
Living in the great ‘Wild West’ state of Arizona, there are so many fashion faux paws that I see on a regular and daily basis that bewildered is a vast understatement of my perception of this hair style dilemma that most people here face. What I am talking about is the existence of the most trashiest of all hair styles ever to be fathomed, one that had to be brewed in the vats of a moonshine, rusted-out bathtub somewhere far out in the desert—in a trailer park nonetheless—where some dude, somewhere, on some sunny day decided that a mullet was the way to go.