It is time for another dissection of bad male fashion habits. These are things that we all see and loathe everyday; well at least for the most part. I am certain that you will not only get a chuckle out of this list, but that you will more than likely wholeheartedly agree with me as well. Unless you are a person who falls into this category, that is.
If so, this one’s for you!
- Wearing socks with sandals. Living in Arizona, I see this so often that it is incomprehensible. You just don’t wear socks with sandals. Jesus set that fashion standard a few thousand years back. Yeah, God was right!
- Flaunting sports Jerseys when it’s not game day. I know that you may be a fan of your favorite professional sports team. And congratulations on spending a hundred bucks to get an official jersey. But, when it is not game day, or you are not at a game, all you are is a big fat walking ad, dude!
- Ponytails and baseball caps. This really should be outlawed in every state in the union. You know that terrible look where the older guy—who more than likely is losing half the hair on his head but refuses to accept it and cut it—ties a ponytail. Then he thinks it looks sleek to tuck that behind the narrow oval in the back of the baseball cap where it clasps. Let’s go eighties here with my comment: “Smooth move Ex-Lax!”
- Dressing like Jerry Seinfeld. I love the TV show, and Seinfeld is and always will be dear to my heart and damn right freaking hilarious. His sense of fashion is, however, somewhat the opposite. If you think that dressing like any male in this show is cool, I bet they have a great-looking (NOT) fanny pack that you have been eying at Overstock.com.
- Bicyclists wearing ad-brandished attire. You see this all of the time. You know those guys that ride their bikes everywhere and have all pro gear, and are super serious about it, too. But they are not signed to any team. They are not really pros. Yet these morons pay hundreds of dollars to get their hands on biking outfits that fit very tightly and have hundreds of ads on them. News Flash: You are not getting paid! Rather, you are paying so that you can advertise. Nice move, you rock!
- Speedos, which really comprise egotistical men walking around the pool in tight underwear. Unless you are a pro swimmer, these tight-fitting swimming suits should not be donned. Really, what are you trying to do, lure the girls in with your bulge?
- The ‘Rat Tail’ hair dew. Who the hell thought that it would be cool to grow this sickly long strand of hair on your head, and then shave off all of the other hair? Whoever it was, they really need to be placed in the hall-of-fame for the worst hair style ever! Next to the pioneer of the mullet, of course.
- A-line shirts (wife beaters) on hideously obese men. This is the biggest fashion no-no ever! It is the male equivalent to the fat lady wearing spandex. It’s a privilege not a right! If you do wear these shirts, and you fit the above mantra, I am guessing there is a nifty mustard stain on it as well. But that doesn’t bother you much. You think it adds some flare.