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Why Does the Mullet Still Exist?

August 5, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

Living in the great ‘Wild West’ state of Arizona, there are so many fashion faux paws that I see on a regular and daily basis that bewildered is a vast understatement of my perception of this hair style dilemma that most people here face. What I am talking about is the existence of the most trashiest of all hair styles ever to be fathomed, one that had to be brewed in the vats of a moonshine, rusted-out bathtub somewhere far out in the desert—in a trailer park nonetheless—where some dude, somewhere, on some sunny day decided that a mullet was the way to go.

Boy I bet those swanky trailer ladies were all over him! (NOT!) And still, I see a rather startling and alarming abundance of this hideous hair style on many men that inhabit this western state. If you are a guy that is currently sporting a mullet, I am talking about you.

That’s right! Feel free to leave your comments, because in my opinion a mullet is the scalp equivalent to having a rat infestation in your house. It’s just plain awful-looking, and if you think that mullets are super-cool, you are on the wrong website my friends; the site you are looking for is Walmart’s website, where you can happily browse online with fellow mullet enthusiasts.

All that being said, I think here are some top reasons as to why this abomination of a hair style (which really is not a hair style if you ask me) is somehow still around today. Keep in mind this is mostly just for the sake of humor. So if you are unable to handle a good laugh, then you may as well move to France.

Top Eight Reasons Why I Can Derive That the Mullet is Still Around

  1. NASCAR: This one REALLY is self explanatory!
  2. Backwoods, Bible-Belt states, where they think this hair style is commendable.
  3. Hicks, rednecks and those who just don’t know any better; fashion ignorance is bliss, somehow.
  4. 80s metal rock has-beens. You know those guys who still think that wearing white-washed jeans is ‘cool.’ Yeah, those people.
  5. ‘Hair Bands’ and those who still think that the styles are really awesome. Need I say more here?
  6. Townships with bad barbers. Believe it or not, there are some places where you may actually be told to sport a mullet. Alabama comes to mind here.
  7. ‘Joe Dirt’ the movie, which really made fun of mullets, but that somehow also made other people aid in supporting the fact that ‘their’ mullet was cool. Wakeup call: The name of the movie is ‘Joe Dirt.’ As in dirty!
  8. ‘The Dukes of Hazard.’ This is as self explanatory as the first reason is.

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: hair, hair style, Joe Dirt, Mullet, NASCAR, redneck

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