A large majority of men tend to over think nearly everything. For all extents and purposes, it’s safe to say that men – or at least a decent 60% of them – are big time thinkers. Then you have the feminine side of the equation. That being: Women, at least for the most part, are feelers, and are a bit more in touch with their emotions and with expressing their emotions than men are. From the male side of the coin, men tend to follow a logical thinking process, and end up making tangible decisions based upon what is logical, whereas most women make emotion-fueled reactions.
With this in a mind, a good example can be derived. Say you just got home from a rather eventful and stress, albeit productive, day at work. You are worn out, a bit stressed, your muscles are tense, and you decide to tell you significant other about your day. While you are venting and letting off some steam, he keeps suggesting what he thinks would be a rational and logical solution to your dilemma. Things like suggesting that you find a different job if you are not happy with your current one, or that you should take some time off and so forth.
All of the while, however, you were not trying to ask him for a solution to your grievances, but rather that he understand what you are going through, why you feel the way that you do, and that you’d really just like him to hold you, plant a kiss on your lips and assure you that everything is going to be ok; or even offer you a short and loving shoulder massage to ease your tensions. However, this logical-infused reaction generally will only serve to work you up more and increase your levels of frustration.
Case and point: Most women act out of emotional responses. And most men act upon logical inferences that they think can tangibly resolve a situation without playing upon their emotions for a conclusion. However, when he (the man in your life) is just trying to deduce the calamity of your situation, and not offer any real emotional and physical support, it does not really help you feel any better now…does it?
Therefore, we can see the differences in how men and women express their feelings. So let’s dive into this topic briefly. Perhaps we can dig up some differing male and female emotional countenances that play into this conundrum.
It’s really something that starts at childbirth for most men; they are simply taught to contain their emotions. They are men. Society has long uplifted the male-domination philosophy, and while much has changed over time, still much has not. The reality is that men still are taught to control and contain their emotions. They are supposed to be these rocks of solidarity that cannot be broken. Think about it…football, NASCAR, MMA fighting, these are all great examples of how masculinity is embodied by the male mindset during the present day.
Simply put: To be emotional is not to be masculine, for most men. They, for the most part, adhere to a common male stereotype that conforms to being tough, rock-solid, hunky, and void of decision-altering emotions. You rarely see straight men even discussing their emotions with other men, and if so it’s really dry and neutral. So one can borrow from that train of thought and presume that men would also struggle with discussing their emotions with their female counterparts.
It could be compared to asking us gals to know how to be more manly, free of emotion and overly logical in our premonitions; we just are not wired for this type of mental fanfare; we are women. The reality is that men often shield their emotions. They have been taught to hide them. It’s not really their fault. It’s just the way that they function in society, something that has gone on since the Neolithic days. Men still borrow from the Neanderthal mindset (which is nearly the same mindset of the 50s male) of being the leader of the tribe. The bread winner. The head of the household. They are not able to always mentally budge in the way that we would wish that they could or would. We could safely say that it’s nearly like we come from two different dimensions that precariously divide the sexes.
Then again, I am a man. And then again, that’s just my take. Perhaps you can add some flare to this with your input. I’d greatly welcome your comments.
Happy New Year