Date

How to be Fashionable When Dating Online – Three Rules You Should Never Break

December 11, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

I am back with some more information from my ongoing online dating adventures. Boy has it been one interesting ride thus far. Yet my fortitude holds me strong, and further do I push on into the realm of romance and swooning. For certain, it has yielded to me many very interesting dates, and they have not been without their ups and downs. Yet still, I find myself seeking that special someone who is right for me. Uncertain of whether or not that I will ever find that person, there are a few things that I have picked up along the way that can truly epitomize the real definition of some tried and true online dating rules. So allow for me to divulge what I have been able to take with me while on my quest for love on the information superhighway.

Three Timeless Online Dating Rules I’ve Learned:

If someone gives out their phone number too early, it’s usually a sign of them being desperate. If you don’t want to have to screen your phone calls forever, then make sure to screen the people you date. Both men and women can be desperate, and if you are looking for someone real, the last thing you want to have to do is get your phone bomb-called day and night by the wrong person.
Coyly ask for recent photos after you exchange numbers, and before you meet the person – in person – so that there are no surprises. Men and women are equally guilty of posting either out-of-date photos or the ‘best-looking’ photos of themselves online. We all want to look attractive. However, many times they look totally different in person. An easy trick around this: Kindly ask them to send you a recently snapped cell phone pic so you can see what they really look like.
Keep the first date short, simple and to the point. Think of your first date like you are interviewing one another for a potential second date – or the second interview. Don’t overdo it. Avoid movies or other distractions so you can really chat and get to know one another. No need for spending a grip of cash on dinner either. A short couple of drinks or a cup of coffee or tea should allow you to really know if this person warrants a second, longer date.

Online Dating Escapades: The Adventure Continues (Plus Some Tips Shared)

September 24, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

I know that you have all been reading me rant and rave about the many online dating adventures that I have enjoyed, or been plagued by, over the past few months. I was even reading up some interesting factoids online about this online dating conundrum I find myself in the thick of. And interestingly enough, about 1 in 5 relationships these days is spawned from the seedlings of an online dating endeavor. Whether you are meeting up on social networking websites, or free or pay-to-use online dating websites, the reality is that many people like to hook up after they meet online.

The one thing I am having a hard time grasping is that this generally also leads to several other things, associated nuances if you will. After really getting a firm hold in the online dating world, and embarking upon so many dates that I have really lost count of them all, as I avidly seek out Miss Perfection—there are some tidbits that I have been able to take with me along the way. To better offer you some more in-depth perspective about dos and don’ts and dating tips, here are some of the things that I have been apprised of during my online dating adventures.

Avoid endless strings of emails. If you are not able to score a date with a person after the rule of three (three emails back and forth, totaling six), you may be wasting your time. Besides, you are online to get a date. You can yap each other’s ears off once you are on that date, instead of in the body of the email.
Girls: Stop showing your kids in the main profile picture! You want to know what most guys think when they see this terrible online dating faux paw: You are a desperate single mother. I know that you love your kids. But YOU are on the dating site, not them.
Guys: Stop putting pictures in your profile without your shirt on. Girls abhor this egotistical crap. It really is a shining beacon that tells them that you are self-centered and seeking a one-night-stand. Yeah, that’s why your inbox is still empty, ‘toned-George!’

The Online Date From Hell!

September 7, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

I feel obliged to apprise you all of one of the worst dates that I have ever experienced from online dating, as this story is truly second-to-none, my friends! I have been online dating for about a year and a half now, and if you read any of my prior posts on the subject, it has certainly had its merits. However, I was on a fabulous date last night, one that also emanated from an online dating website, and we started sharing our date from hell stories with one another. I never thought my date from hell story would be the cake topper, but as it turns it, such was the case. Now I feel that I should share this hilarious, yet sad event with you all—so that you can giggle a little bit, and realize that there are, indeed, some ups and downs from dating online.

So I meet this gal—whose name I will not mention for privacy sake—at a very well known online dating site (which I will also refrain from mentioning for obvious reasons), and everything seems kosher at first. So what follows is how our date went down. I have listed it in the order that it transpired.

The Date From Hell!

We meet at Olive Garden for dinner and drinks—she shows up nearly forty minutes late.
I know upon seeing her that she lied on her profile, and used ten year old photos, as she has aged considerable.
She has this gnarly, yenta accent that reminds me of my mom; I felt like I was going on a date with my mom to be honest. (I love you mom!)
From the moment we are seated, nothing is right. She complains about everything. She also tells me never to talk about my ex, or religion or politics, and then proceeds to do so herself, boring me to tears.
The drinks keep getting ordered, by her (I just had a beer), and by the time we are an hour in, she has rung up a $100 bar tab on vodka mixers with Grey Goose; go figure.
By the time dinner is over (thank goodness for that), she has informed me that her age is wrong, and that she is not really 32. Nor is she 35. Not even 38. She is 42! I am 29, big no-no!
I decided to pay the bill and stomach it just to get this thing over with. She is very intoxicated and I offer to drive her home or call her a cab. To which she adamantly refuses.
After trying my best, I decided that I can’t help her any longer, and I really want to get the hell out of there. And away from her!
So we call it a night and I get in my car to drive home, entirely disturbed by the events that just took place.
As we are leaving—and here is the kicker—she pulls out before me, cutting me off nonetheless and nearly hitting my car. A cop sees all of this and lights her up. She is cuffed and stuffed for a DUI, which she deserved. I head home and shake off the memories of the worst date I ever have been on!

The Extended Weekend Date (While Being a Gentleman)!

August 18, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

I know that I have been yapping about dating and online dating in a few past articles, and actually have decided to document one of my most recent—and very amazing experiences that is relative to dating—because I feel it to be ever so noteworthy of an endeavor. Seeing as there are plenty of strapping single young lads like me out there (as well as plenty of ladies), there will always be daters seeking some form of advice, hints or tips, or just looking to find out more about what other people have been able to secure through their online dating adventures. For me, after a gnarly divorce, and a marriage that spanned the good part of a decade, I found myself suddenly flung into the dating scene; go figure!

Not being the frequenter of many bars, pubs or clubs, abhorring date chat lines, and really not into local match making services, I decided to go with a free—yes free—online dating account; as I think it’s silly to pay to meet someone when you can do the same thing for free. So I feel it ever so necessary to document my experiences with this wonderful person that I have met, which is turning out to be the seedlings that have some great potential to blossom into the long term, nurturing relationship that I have been diligently seeking over the past year and a half of being single.

The Timeline of my Dating Experience with this Wonderful Person

Meeting on an Online Dating Website

So I started a profile on a free online dating site called Plenty of Fish (you can find it by searching for it online, but I will refrain from brandishing their URL, as I am not trying to advertise for this free dating website). I made sure to write a great profile bio, upload recent pictures of myself, and then I started emailing and chatting with fellow online female daters. It took about a week before I met just a fantastic woman (who I will also keep her name private because I wish to preserve her confidentiality, and it is of no consequence to the nature and the premise of this article). In short: we exchanged several emails, then used instant messaging, finally sharing our Facebook pages—and this all led up to a set date night—all within the first five days of getting to know her!

The First Date

The first date was awesome. We broke all the rules, too; like talking about our exes, politics, our views on religion and so forth. We hit up a few great Arizona nighttime hotspots and quickly realized that we were a pretty darned good match. From there, it was all cream and sugar my friends.

Text Messages, Chatting, & Following Up

Over the few days from that Wednesday that followed, plenty of text messages were sent to and from one another and a few phone calls were made. Behold: We now had a weekend date set to meet up on Friday. But I never thought it would be nearly as extended as it turned out to be! And who says online dating doesn’t work? Oh yeah, I did!

Boy was I wrong, and in the very best of ways, too!

A Weekend Rendezvous Like-Never-Before (No Sex; That’s Being a Gentleman)!

Then Friday of the same week hit. She and I met up for sushi at this cool little hole-in-the-wall and decided to go bar-hopping following that. We met up with her girlfriends at a total dive pub later (so they could get their one-up on me and make sure I was not some maniacal serial killer; I love eating cereal, so please!). After a night on the town Friday that was truly hard to top, she ended up staying the night. We hung out, watched TV and movies, drank some damn good mixed drinks and I gave her a half-hour sensual massage. I cannot emphasize enough that there was NO SEX, and there is NOTHING wrong with taking it slow. If you are looking for a one-night-stand, that’s another story, however.

Come Saturday, it was a dreamy day where we slept in. Then hunger hit us on the head, and we embarked to a local spot to dine on some Mexican fares and get some drinks. Our day kicked off smoothly, and back to the house to hang out we went. We cuddled and were ‘bedroom junkies’ for a bit, watching TV, chatting, and snoozing. Come the night, we were on the hunt for yet another dating adventure. To the local Arizona casinos we headed, and we were greatly disappointed. We found ourselves back at a few choice dive bars, and then capped the night off with mixer drinks we picked up at a grocery store on the way back home. She stayed the night with me on Saturday as well, another massage was offered and accepted, and again, I was not ready to take that next leap into full sex; still too early.

Now we talk and text daily and have plans to meet up again a few times this week. All in all, it has been the most exhilarating dating experiencing I have yet to encounter. I am ever so confident that this person may indeed be the ‘one’ that I have been seeking all of this while. Only time will tell. And in time, perhaps, I will take things to the next intimate level.

But there is never anything wrong with playing your cards right and being a true gentleman!

Date Night Gone Right—While Breaking All the Faux Paws Dating Rules!

August 12, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

I did it people! I went ahead and broke my own rules, to some extent, with regards to online dating, over this past week! I have written a few prior posts regarding dating hints and tips, and rules of the thumb that should always be followed. I am pleased to inform you that I completely adhered to my “Three Easy Online Dating Tips I’ve Learned” article; which you can click the link that I have provided above to see what that post comprised.

In that article I exemplified several ways to be successful with online dating, such as the following: Use Recent Photos on Your Profile, Write a Concise & Clear Bio About Yourself & Don’t Get Discouraged by Those Who Don’t Respond. But…the story ever so thickens because I wrote another article following that which was entitled, “Four Dating Don’ts You Should Never Do!” (Click the link to see this article on online dating.) But yet, somehow, even by breaking a rule or two, it was just a magnificent date, my friends!

So manning up to the rules I broke, here we go! I stated as rule number one to, “Never talk about your ex. I cannot emphasize this enough. This is such a bad thing to do. One, you are on a date to meet them and learn more about them, not rehash negative and bad experiences you have had with love. That is a major turn-off and a big time no-no!” But the gal I met was lovely, smart, sassy and successful—and she started off the whole ex conversation. I tried to veer away from it by changing the subject, but we ended up sharing a laugh or two, finding some very special common ground, and really getting to learn more about each other. In hindsight, you should try to veer away from this, but then again, I did it and it worked this time around!

Mind you, it usually has disastrous results, however!

Rules number three and four in that article were easily followed, and worked like a charm. Those rules being, “Three” Chivalry is not dead. Guys, I know that it is not the 50s anymore, but have some class. Open the doors, get the drinks, and be attentive and focused on the girl. Always offer to pay the full bill, even if they argue otherwise. Girls have it easier than we men when on dates, that’s for sure. But playing your cards right is always smart. Four: Open your ears, not your mouth, and mind your manners. Most commonly I hear the women I know fret over men never listening to them. So this one is a no-brainer: Listen up. Then talk. Also, be mindful of your manners and the way that you present yourself; don’t talk with a mouth full of food or ask your date if they want to go heads-to-toe with a burping contest!”

So while I did break a rule here and there—and rules are generally made to be broken once in a while—I have to admit that it was the best damned date I have ever had! We are meeting up again this weekend to hang out and have some fun, too!

In summation: Go for it!

Just make sure you try and adhere to some of the rules of dating and online dating, because in my experience, it has always served me well,

I just got super lucky this time around!

Four Dating Don’ts You Should Never Do!

July 9, 2010 by Michael Jon Lazar

Being a single fellow over here, following a very lengthy relationship that spanned just over the edge of twelve years and that had some ups and downs, but was for the most part grand, I find myself on the dating scene again. Oddly enough, this has been a learning lesson for me as I go on date after date with stranger after stranger. I have heard about—and have been subject to—some dates from hell. This led me to be intrigued to look up some classic don’ts that you should always stray far, far away from when on any date. For me, I commonly see these ‘don’ts’ exhibited on many dates that I go on, and am immediately turned off by them.

So for any of you likeminded daters who are out there who are looking for love, perhaps these candid tips will help you avoid the conundrum of being caught in that proverbial dating twist. You know, where you say and do things that you later regret that make or break that date. Usually, I see it from the other side. But rest assured, I myself am guilty of these as well. But I am getting more refined with each passing day; or so I fondly tell myself to stroke my own ego. Without ado, avoid these four don’ts when on a date, and at all costs!

Never talk about your ex. I cannot emphasize this enough. This is such a bad thing to do. One, you are on a date to meet them and learn more about them, not rehash negative and bad experiences you have had with love. That is a major turn-off and a big time no-no!
Avoid discussing politics or religion. There is this old time rule about being at a bar: You never talk about either of these subjects because they open the doors to much debate. In par with that notion is when you are on a date. Rather, focus on the person, their likes and dislikes, and who they really are. The other stuff can come later, if you enter into a relationship with them.
Chivalry is not dead. Guys, I know that it is not the 50s anymore, but have some class. Open the doors, get the drinks, and be attentive and focused on the girl. Always offer to pay the full bill, even if they argue otherwise. Girls have it easier than we men when on dates, that’s for sure. But playing your cards right is always smart.
Open your ears, not your mouth, and mind your manners. Most commonly I hear the women I know fret over men never listening to them. So this one is a no-brainer: Listen up. Then talk. Also, be mindful of your manners and the way that you present yourself; don’t talk with a mouth full of food or ask your date if they want to go heads-to-toe with a burping contest!